Divorce Guide for Women

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There is no greater emotional pain that can be inflicted on a woman than the announcement by her husband that he wants a divorce. Even if both parties have seen it coming for some time, the announcement still comes as a big surprise. The actual announcement is quite similar to a bomb exploding in your face.

Such an announcement is out-in-the-open admission that the person you held in your arms for so many years and promised to love you – honour, respect, support and stand by you in good times and bad - through sickness and health - for richer or poorer - no longer wants your love. Your love has been rejected and such a blow to your emotional equilibrium is just about the most damaging illness you will ever have to face in your lifetime.

Be that as it may, it is of the utmost importance that when such a pain descends upon you, you should realize that you can recover. This in reality is an opportunity for you to attain real and total happiness according to your own standards.

It will be hard, in fact, it will probably be just about the most difficult thing you have ever done in your life. Irrespective, you must immediately and absolutely close that chapter of your life. If you decide to move out, find a new home or apartment without his assistance. You must put an immediate end to the affairs of your marriage. Once your husband has announced that he wants a divorce, you have to start thinking about your own survival.

It is going to feel like loosing a vital part of your body, but you must let go and the sooner you do the better. – The sooner you let go, the sooner you will be able to set about rebuilding your life and ultimately finding the happiness you want.

Between the time that your ex-husband announced his intention to divorce you and the time when you eventually find new happiness, it is going to be almost impossible to face life or laugh with your friends. You are going to go through a number of mental and emotional phases all of which are perfectly normal and necessary in order for you to heal yourself of this great hurt. You will not be able to enjoy love or attain true happiness until you have purged the past from your system and healed yourself.

Think about what you are going through as a wound similar to a gash inflicted on your arm or leg. It is going to hurt and you are going to bleed. But with proper care and time, you will recover. You must understand that divorce is quite common – you are not alone nor going through anything that a lot of other people have not experienced. In order to recover must understand the nature of the wound; what to do in order to heal it and everything there is to know about the total recovery.

At first, you will probably deny that this is happening to you. You may pretend that it is just a bad dream or some sort of bad joke he is pulling on you. This type of thinking is normal but it only prolongs the agony of your hurt. You must face the reality of the situation - accept the fact that your marriage is over and get on with the task of finding happiness for yourself immediately.

You will probably lay awake in bed at night and review every minute of your marriage. You will think you could have been a better wife if only you could have done things differently. You are going have the urge to go back to him and beg for another chance. You will want to accept full responsibility or perhaps a big share of all the problems that brought about the divorce.

These thoughts are only natural but they cannot put your marriage back together if the other party is not interested. Any attempts to try one more time at this stage will only cause you a greater pain. You must accept the fact that your marriage is over. Do not allow yourself to dwell on guilty emotions.

It takes two people to make a marriage and divorce comes about because of irreconcilable differences between spouses. No one is perfect and happiness in life is a matter of learning from our mistakes. Accept your own short-comings; vow that you will profit from this experience and then get on with your life. You will never be comfortable with yourself nor find real happiness so long as you are dragging guilty feelings from your past around with you. On the brighter side, your divorce might mean a chance to rebuild your life for the better.

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