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Procrastination is one of the biggest "dream killers"
Just think about how many opportunities have you missed out due to procrastination and inaction. How many opportunities will you miss out on if you don't take immediate control of your future?
Your inability to take action slowly eats away at your self esteem. When you finally decide and take action you immediately feel that sense of accomplishment and that feeling is what builds massive self esteem.
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Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to other people - is one of the important ingredients to your success or failure in life.
Think good about yourself and you will succeed. Think disparagingly of yourself, you will most probably not succeed.
Regardless of whether you are the perpetrator or the victim, the experience of going through a divorce is going to damage your self-esteem. In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by divorce is lethal enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity especially if it comes with loss of assets.
What you must do is to think of your divorce - the end of your marriage – in the same way as you would with the death of your spouse. Basically that is what it is; dissolution of partnership.
There is a period of grief; a period of feeling guilty because you did not do or say all the things you might have; a period of anger because things did not pan out as planned; a period of reconciliation in which you think maybe if you try again it will all work out and finally a period of acceptance. After acceptance you will enter a period of success or prosperity provided you prepared yourself well.
Any normal divorced person has either lived through each of these recovery phases or is still going through them. It is all normal and a part of the necessary healing process that has to take place before you are able to recognize and enjoy happiness again.
Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do following the break-up of any kind of relationship is to get started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem and reorganising your life for success. This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you nor anyone else is perfect. Make a commitment that you will learn from your mistakes and aspire to be the best.
Immediately after divorce, get out and do something that makes you feel good – something you have wanted to do for some time or always wanted to do. This could be touring overseas, studying, enrolling in a special self-development course, starting a business or taking a post in different city.
Whatever you do, do not lock yourself in your house or apartment. You must not be afraid to get out and associate with other people. You must not stop wanting to enjoy life; success is just around the corner.
You may have to force yourself to go out or be seen with people of the opposite sex. It may be difficult at the beginning but with time it will feel normal again. Yes, you could be mourning your loss but life must carry on. You must go on with your life with a stronger determination than ever to be the person you want to be. Do not beat yourself over the head with emotions of guilt. Get rid of your anger as quickly as possible. Forget about the past. Get on with the rest of your life without delay!
Revitalize those ambitions that have been buried away in the back of your mind and consider this particular time in your life as an opportunity for a new start. Do some introspection in relation to success ambitions. Reorganize your time and efforts to attain those objectives and go out with your might to get them.
After everything has been said and done, it is up to you to carry on living. The easiest and most powerful way of being happy is to believe in your abilities; disregard what everybody else (especially your ex-spouse) is saying or have said about you. When things are not quite right, the first thing that needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude, feelings about yourself and your emotional response to others. Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice when you are talking to other people. Remember that if you are friendly, polite, cheerful and kind to others, most people will return the favour. Suddenly you fill feel welcomed and your confidence will grow gradually.
While your confidence is growing, try with all your might to forget about anything in your past that can hinder your success. Anything and everything that happened yesterday is long gone and cannot be changed. You have the rest of your life ahead; there is love, happiness and prosperity ahead.
Whatever you want in life can be yours. All that is necessary to realise any dream is a true understanding of what you want and determination on your part to make it all happen as planned. Think about what you want; prepare yourself to get it; focus on your efforts; execute with vigour; sit back and enjoy the benefits because nothing succeed like success.
So, the first thing in rebuilding one's self-esteem - following a divorce or loss of spouse under any circumstance - is to understand the hurt and what has to be done to regain happiness again. It is essential that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind of life you want.
In simple terms - it hurts but you are not dead. You will only be wasting time by thinking of or rehashing the past because you cannot change the past. The only viable option is to quickly pick up the pieces and get on with your life.
By just having the desire to live a successful life, half of the battle is won. The rest is planning; focused attention; vigorous execution and the results will follow automatically.
Article by Katleho Leeuw. Copyright © 2008 Goodtobest Publications
good people are better but successful strive to be the best in their undertakings
Success After Divorce
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